


Is it Ineffable?

by cosmic_marigolds



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Bottom Gabriel, Fluff, I'll write more actual smut soon guys leave me be, Mild Smut, Multi, One Night Stands, Other, lil bit of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-03
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-06-03 11:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19463188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmic_marigolds/pseuds/cosmic_marigolds
Summary: When Gabriel and Beelzebub meet to discuss the failed trials and executions of their respective defectors, something unexpected begins to grow between them. And they may have to turn to the traitors for guidance...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Alrighty! Guess who's back on their bullshit? It's me, I'm back on my bullshit.  
> I do not personally care for Gabriel as a character(if that weren't evident from the last time I mentioned him in a fanfic), but I have a soft spot in my heart for the ship "Ineffable Bureaucracy", so here I am. Indulging my soft spot(that sounded wrong).  
> There maaaaaay be some smut in this later, but probably not? I'm not the greatest smut writer, so I'm not too confident in my smut abilities yet. But smut is heavily implied!!!  
> Also this is gonna be another chapter piece, so strap in, guys gals and nb pals

If you were to see Gabriel walking around Heaven, and ask him how he was doing, he would smile stiffly and pat you on top of your head

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about me,” he would say “I am fine. I am great. Everything is great, because we are in paradise. Why wouldn’t it be great?”

And before you could follow up, he would disappear and laugh, waving his hand behind him like he had not a care in the world. You would walk away, feeling slightly condescended to, but still satisfied with the encounter.

But.

If you were to see him in private, in the confines of his office, you would see that the exact opposite was true. You would see him sitting at his desk, sitting upright and stiff, not like his usual confident lean. You would see him staring at his mobile device, a look of confusion, frustration across his face, and his mind buzzing with thoughts he had never thought to think before.

Every so often, he would distract himself and pretend to work on something else, making sideways glances to make sure no messages were being missed.

What the hell was happening to him?

If you were to see Beelzebub stalking around Hell, and ask them how they were doing…

Well, you’d have maggots crawling out of your throat before you could even ask. How dare you even think you’re worthy of asking them a question like that. You two aren’t friends, you’ve got a lot of nerve.

And as you choked on whatever maggots or hellfire or whatever torture they made come out of your throat, they would stalk away, perhaps ceasing the torture just to show you that was a warning. You would not ask them again.

However…

If you were to see them in the privacy of their respective office, they would be pacing back and forth in the cramped and dark space, buzzing out of frustration and confusion. Every so often, they would glance at their mobile device, only to find no messages and to ultimately chuck it at a wall in frustration.

What the heaven was happening to them?

-four days earlier-

In a dimly lit pub somewhere in an undisclosed location, Gabriel tapped his fingers impatiently upon the top of a table that was tucked away in a corner, out of sight from all the grizzly-looking inhabitants.

Gabriel sat back in his chair. His light grey suit and neatly trimmed black and silver hair made him stand out among the smoke and gloom of the pub, its inhabitants shooting threatening glares in Gabriel’s direction. Gabriel huffed and checked his watch.

 _I suppose demons aren’t known for their timeliness, are they?_ Gabriel thought. As the thought crossed his mind, he glanced up to notice Beelzebub saunter in, in all their dark and demonic glory. Their piercing eyes scanned the room until they landed upon Gabriel, who waved his drink in Beelzebub’s direction.

“I thought we had agreed on seven” Gabriel remarked, taking a sip from his glass. Beelzebub exhaled sharply and took a seat across from the archangel, gesturing to a waiter to bring them a drink.

“I had to come up with an excuse. Don’t want other demons snooping around wondering why _I’m_ meeting with an angel, do you?”

Gabriel frowned, bringing his glass up to his lips “My time is precious, Beelzebub. And I would expect you to—”

“To what?” Beelzebub shot back at Gabriel, their seething glare boring into Gabriel’s being, causing the archangel to finally look them in the eye “To respect you? My time is just as precious as yours, angel, and I’m only here because we share a common enemy”

Gabriel gulped, then took a sip of his drink.

“Ah yes” he finally managed, a strange burning sensation building in his face “The defectors?”

Beelzebub nodded. A waiter brought a tall bottle and a glass to the table, and Beelzebub took them without thanks.

“How in the heaven did they manage to become immune to our weaknesses?” Beelzebub mused after shooting back one drink and pouring another “There must have been something they did, some sort of magic that we don’t know about?”

Gabriel set his glass down and threaded his fingers together underneath his chin, grateful for the dimness in the room. Something about the small demon downing an entire drink and immediately pouring another stirred a strange feeling in Gabriel. He mulled over whether he could—no, whether he should—challenge the demon to a drinking contest.

But they were here on business. He could best a foul demon another time.

“Maybe they had some sort of protective amulet? Or a spell?” he finally offered, realizing he hadn’t said anything in a long while, which had prompted raised eyebrows from Beelzebub.

Beelzebub took a moment to study the archangel. Though they would never admit it to anyone—least of all themselves, out loud—Gabriel did have some sort of charm that could have possibly been construed as…handsome, they guessed.

Especially in this moment, seeing Gabriel come undone at the notion of one of his subordinates surviving his hellfire execution, it was actually quite amusing.

And somewhat…endearing?

 _‘Course he’s endearing_ , Beelzebub thought, _he’s an aaaaangel._ _Not only that he’s THE archangel, oooh lala, what was so damn special about that?_

“Is-everything okay?” Gabriel’s voice broke through Beelzebub’s taunting train of thought, making them jump. Beelzebub also came to appreciate the dimness of the bar, as they turned a dark shade of blood red.

“Fine, fine” they waved their hand and poured some of the liquid in their bottle into Gabriel’s glass “Here, this is probably a lot stronger than whatever piss you’ve ordered for yourself”

“I am happy with what I have,” Gabriel halfheartedly protested as Beelzebub shoved the glass into Gabriel’s hand. “Besides, that looks like it came out of a dead animal, I’d rather not—”

“Rather not what?” Beelzebub teased, suddenly very close to Gabriel’s face, and Gabriel could feel the heat rising in his own face. “Ruin your Heavenly vessel with such filth? Really Gabriel, wasn’t it your lot that declared vanity a sin?”

Beelzebub brushed a hand against Gabriel’s thigh, and it took everything in Gabriel to not shudder underneath the touch.

 _Oh yeah_ , Beelzebub thought, _this would be too easy_

Gabriel gulped, then without thinking, he moved his own hand to gently graze Beelzebub’s forearm. He smirked to himself as Beelzebub noticeably jerked at his touch.

_You thought you could shake me that easily?_ Gabriel thought to himself, running his fingers softly up and down Beelzebub’s forearm, then reached his hand up to brush a pitch-black lock of hair behind the Prince’s ear.

The most dangerous game of chicken had begun

-Present day-

It had been four days since the rendezvous at that dimly lit pub, and Gabriel ran a hand over his chest, acknowledging the small little bruises that Beelzebub had left. He still found himself flushed at the memory, and somewhat displeased with himself.

It was a stupid mistake. He knew better than to even have anything other than a passing notion of disgust towards any demon of Hell, especially to the Prince of Hell themselves. There were rules, there were boundaries.

And even though he was an archangel, there was the threat of Falling.

Would it have been worth it? His little one-night stand with Beelzebub? Would those few—okay, not few—minutes of pleasure have been worth losing everything he had worked so hard to keep in Heaven? Would it have been worth his status? His command? His respect? Beelzebub would’ve gotten away with it scot-free. Heck, they would probably give them a medal—seducing an archangel and making him fall to Hell after giving into temptation.

And yet.

There was something about his dynamic with Beelzebub that made him feel… good? Not in just a sexual way. Most angels and humans revered Gabriel, treated him with praise and respect. Some of them even feared him, and most demons went out of their way to avoid him should they ever cross paths.

But not Beelzebub. Beelzebub didn’t fear Gabriel, or even pretend to like or respect him. No one had ever spoken to Gabriel in the way that Beelzebub had, with such vitriol and ridicule.

And Gabriel had liked it. More than he should have.

So much so that it drove him crazy that Beelzebub hadn’t even contemplated trying to contact him. But communication worked both ways. Besides, what do you follow a situation like this up with? Gabriel pulled his phone out and began to type out

“Hey Beelzebub, it’s Gabriel. About the other night I just wanted to say if you ever wanted to do that again, I would be one hundred percent, no holds-barred, down to have you fuck me again”

He couldn’t say that. He had too much pride. He erased and started over.

“Beelzebub, it would be great if you didn’t mention our encounter to anyone else? Can’t have my higher ups finding out I let a demon have their way with me in the back of a pub”

He couldn’t say that either. That would make it sound like Beelzebub had forced themselves on him (Which they didn’t), or that it was a mistake (Which it was… technically).

Gabriel threw his phone back down on his desk and slumped back into his chair. He looked up at the ceiling and sighed. Then, as if hit by lighting, he sat up.

He knew exactly who he could talk to about this. He didn’t want it to have to come to this, but there was only one person he could talk to that would have any sort of knowledge of this kind of thing. He stood up and grabbed his phone and his coat. As he stormed out of his office, his secretary tried to catch his attention “Mr. Gabriel, are you--?”

“I have to make an emergency trip to Earth” Gabriel brushed her aside, continuing on “Someone needs a prayer personally answered, you understand, right?”

Before the secretary could answer, Gabriel was already gone, on his way to Earth to consult with another adversary.

It had been four days since the rendezvous at the dimly lit pub, and Beelzebub absentmindedly touched a hand to their back to feel the red marks that had been raked down their back just days before. They found themselves flushed and rather peeved at the memory.

What a stupid mistake they had made. They knew better than anyone that fraternizing with angels was forbidden, and never once during their partial rule of Hell had the thought to even speak casually to an angel even cross their mind.

And now they had gone and met with one—an archangel no less—in the seedy backroom of some seedy pub to have some… indescribably impressive sex. Granted, their few—well, maybe it wasn’t few—minutes of pleasure couldn’t quite be punished, and they could even spin it into a commendation, there would still be talk. Beelzebub couldn’t tempt a human for their own pleasure? They had to go and tempt an archangel? Do they think their better than us? Are they that desperate?

Then a thought struck them. What if they had made Gabriel Fall? Such a thought should’ve evoked some sort of sick pride or glee in Beelzebub, but it only filled them with dread and anxiety.

Why did they suddenly care if that prick fell? It would have served him right for being such an arrogant shit. But here they were, genuinely disgusted with themselves over the notion of being responsible for the archangel’s fall.

They shouldn’t care so much. Demons don’t care for anyone; they’re not supposed to. Especially not for anyone who hadn’t even condescended to try and talk to them about the events of that night. Beelzebub huffed, picked up their phone from the corner they had chucked it into, and began to type

“Gabriel. I wanted to thank you for the other night. If you’re ever feeling tempted to get fucked within an inch of your life again, you know who to call”

Tempted? What were they, an idiot? Too forward. They erased and started again

“The other night should have never happened. If you tell anyone, I will rip your wings off myself”

Yikes, too harsh, even by Beelzebub’s standards. Also, there was nothing wrong with what happened, except that… by all the standards of Heaven and Hell, it was forbidden.

Beelzebub went to throw the phone against another wall when an idea hit them. It hit them with a disgusted groan, as it was an idea they really didn’t want to follow through with.

But they had to. There was only one person that could understand what they were going through.

Without stopping for anyone, Beelzebub stormed out of their office and made their way to Earth.

They were not looking forward to this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Both Crowley and Aziraphale experience a minor hitch in their evening plans as their former higher ups come to them for some... more human advice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me a minute to finish this one, but here's chapter two!
> 
> Some of the bits with Beelzebub(and quite possibly other characters as well) got a little ooc, but I hope you guys enjoy anyways!

-Outsdide of a flat, London-

Crowley parked the Bentley in typical spot and began to unload the groceries from the backseat. He really wasn’t the food shopper, but he decided he wanted to treat his angel to a homecooked meal. He had been studying from an array of cookbooks all week and decided he would try and recreate all of Aziraphale’s favorite foods, just so he could make his angel feel special. Crowley had even picked up dessert—a dark chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream frosting topped with an assortment of fruits and the words “I love you” scrawled across in frosting—from their favorite bakery.

Even if Aziraphale didn’t return his affections after seeing that, Crowley was still very proud of the efforts he had made for tonight. He struggled with a few bags, then one slid off of his wrist and onto the ground.

“Bugger,” he blessed.

“Here, let me give you a hand with that”

Crowley froze as he bent down to pick up the bag. That voice was too familiar for his comfort. Crowley looked up to see Gabriel crouching down to pick up the bag, all dressed up in a steel grey suit and lavender tie, looking as arrogant as ever.

“Gabriel,” Crowley finally managed, standing all the way back up, and Gabriel mirrored “Long time, no see! How’re things above?”

“Oh, you know,” Gabriel said with a stiff smile. He was up to something, and Crowley’s guard was way up. Was he here to dispose of Crowley himself? Did he find out about Aziraphale and his switch for the trials? What was he up to?

“How,” Crowley gulped, stifling any and all fear, keeping his eyes on Gabriel “How can I help you on this fine day?”

“Enough chitchat,” Gabriel interrupted, grabbing the parcel holding Crowley’s love confession, before making his way towards the building “Which one of these is yours? I am desperate for a drink right now”

Crowley was still apprehensive. There was no way Gabriel had just popped over for a social visit, and there was no way Crowley was going to get drunk and let his guard down around Gabriel. “What’re you doing? What do you want?”

Gabriel huffed impatiently, and turned around, fixing his violet eyes on Crowley.

“Look, I hate that I’m here almost as much as you hate that I’m here”

“Then why are you—” Crowley tried to protest, but Gabriel grew impatient

“You are, unfortunately, the only person in all of known creation that can help me. And know that you and Aziraphale did something to fuck up the trials”

Crowley’s skin crawled at the way Gabriel spat Aziraphale’s name, as if it were a poison. Gabriel stepped towards Crowley and almost backed him into the Bentley with a menacing glare

“Now, I don’t know how you did it… but if you help me with my problem, then I’ll see to it that our sides leave you and Aziraphale alone” Gabriel held the box up and opened the lid. He took a finger and scraped it along the top of the cake, then pressed the frosting to his lips.

“But if you don’t… well, he’s not here to help you out, now is he?”

It took everything in all of Crowley to not drop his groceries and wrap his hands around Gabriel’s throat. But it didn’t really seem like he had a choice.

“It’s second floor” Crowley relented, brushing past Gabriel “There’s an elevator. And this better be quick, I have some plans to attend to… and a cake to fix”

Gabriel smirked victoriously and followed Crowley into the flat.

-Across town, in an old bookstore-

Aziraphale hummed to himself as he finished tying off his bowtie, a navy-blue number with small golden pinstripes. He stepped away from the mirror and smiled, admiring the outfit he had out together. The evening activities were a bit of a surprise for Aziraphale, as Crowley had asked him earlier to meet him at his flat rather than pick him up. He wondered what his wily, old serpent was up to.

Aziraphale patted the front of his coat, and his heart skipped a beat. He pulled a small box out of his inner coat pocket and opened it, his face flushing as he looked over the small gold band inside. Not long after he and Crowley had decided to make their partnership a more romantic deal, Aziraphale had purchased the gold band at an antique shop in Soho.

It may have been a little soon into their relationship, but what is soon in relation to six thousand years together?

Aziraphale let out a shuddering sigh and replaced the box in his pocket. I hope he says yes, Aziraphale thought as he brushed off a stray piece of lint from his cuff.

Suddenly, he heard the familiar jingle of the front door to the shop. That’s odd, he could have sworn he locked that.

“I’m terribly sorry,” he began, making his way towards the front of the store “But I am closed for the day, but please feel—”

Aziraphale paused and became frozen in his tracks. Standing at the door was Beelzebub, dressed from head to toe in a dark green suit, the fly atop their head buzzing threateningly.

“You, principality” Beelzebub glowered at Aziraphale, who desperately tried to contain their fear. Had they done something to Crowley? Were they here to threaten him? What was the Prince of Hell doing in his bookshop?

“B-Beelzebub!” Aziraphale tried in his best host voice “S-so good to see you. I would offer you some tea, but I’m afraid I have a prior—”

Before he can finish, the door of the bookshop slams shut and locks behind Beelzebub. All the windows go dark and Beelzebub stalks towards Aziraphale, getting right in his face

“Listen here, Angel” they fumed, backing Aziraphale into a wall “I’m just as pleased to be here as you are that I’m here, but I am quite desperate, and I believe you’re the only one who can help me”

Aziraphale blinked. What kind of problem could Beelzebub, Prince of Hell, Lord of Flies themselves have that an angel—or defecting angel—could solve? He was no stranger to demon problems (He has been with Crowley for the past six thousand years), but Aziraphale couldn’t even begin to imagine how he could possibly help Beelzebub.

“Sh-shall I put the kettle on?” he offered, meekly.

Beelzebub blinked; their threatening glare softened. “You’re-you’re not going to fight me? Refuse me? No resistance, you’re going to help?”

Beelzebub backed off Aziraphale, and the angel gave a lighthearted smile

“Whatever your problems are, they must be seriously troubling to you, and I can’t say no to anyone in need” Aziraphale motioned for Beelzebub to follow him up to the flat.

 _Besides_ , Aziraphale thought to himself, placing a hand over the spot in his coat where the small box hid. _The sooner I help them, the sooner I can get to Crowley and… handle my own troubles_

Aziraphale let out another sigh, and unlocked his flat door, beckoning the demon prince into the inviting space.

\--Crowley’s flat—

Back at a stylish flat in London, a demon poured a glass of scotch for an archangel, trying everything in his power to look wholly unbothered.

“So, this little problem of yours,” Crowley spoke, pushing the glass towards Gabriel, who took it with a small grimace. “How exactly am I the one that can help you? I know I used to be an angel, but that was so long ago I don’t think you’d really appreciate my suggestions”

“Actually, I came to you because you know more about how demons act,” Gabriel stated, bringing the scotch to his lips and taking a sip. He expected it to be awful, but the scotch was quite smooth and went down like water. “But also, this happens to be… sort of a human problem…”

Crowley raised his eyebrows. Humans and demons? Why were these things Gabriel needed to know about? How did this have anything to do with Crowley? And why was it so bloody important that he had to come barging in on what considered was going to be a very important night for him and Aziraphale?

“Human problem?” Crowley asked, bringing his own glass to his lips. “You do know I’m a demon, right?”

“Yes, but you’ve been around them for thousands of years. I pop in every once in a while,” Gabriel retorted “A minor miracle here, check up on Aziraphale there, that kind of thing. I haven’t…mingled with them like you have”

“I don’t mingle with humans,” Crowley replied, narrowing his eyes at Gabriel. If this guy did not just come out with it and tell him what he wanted, Crowley was prepared to throw him out the window. “I’ve just lived among them for a while, is all”

“Then you know all about their feelings, emotions,” Gabriel pried further, then shot a sideways glance at the cake box “How they love one another,”

“Enough with the chitchat, Gabriel” Crowley spat, immediately putting himself between the cake box and Gabriel, trying desperately not to blush. “What do you want?”

Gabriel’s smirk faded and he set his glass down on the bar. Brow furrowed and fingers knit together under his chin, he took a deep breath. “I think… I may be in love…”

Crowley huffed “That’s it? All this just to tell me about your romantic struggles. What do you want me--?”

“I’m in love with a demon” Gabriel interrupted. The two just looked at each other in stone silence.

What the fuck does he mean? Crowley’s mind started racing. Was this a joke? What demon charmed the archangel Gabriel that much that he had to come to Earth and seek his advice?

Unless…

“Look, Gabriel, you’re a nice guy,” Crowley began, not heeding the utterly confused look that now spread across Gabriel’s face

“But, as you can see, I’m already pretty much spoken for. Plus, you’re just not my type—”

“Wait, what? Ew, no,” Gabriel realized, shooting Crowley down. Crowley may not have been interested in Gabriel, but the “ew, no” comment still hurt.

“No, no. I’m not in love with you. I have standards” Gabriel continued. Wow, way to really just rub holy water in the open wound. “But it is a demon you know,”

“I know lots of demons, Gabe,” Crowley spat, still fuming at Gabriel’s insults. “You’re going to have to be specific. Hell’s a huge place, which one of them fit your fancy?”

Gabriel leaned back on his bar stool, face flushing an even darker shade of red. He knew that if he said anything, it would garner ridicule from Crowley, but he had no choice. He had to know how to talk to a demon, and Crowley was the only other demon he knew.

“It’s—uh…Well,” Gabriel stammered “It’s…Beelzebub”

-Back at the Bookshop-

“Gabriel? Really?” Aziraphale finally said, a little incredulously as Beelzebub had hidden their face in one of Aziraphale’s many embroidered throw pillows. “But he’s so…well, what’s a nice way to put it? He’s—”

“A rat bastard” Beelzebub grumbled, not removing their face from the pillow “And one of the most obnoxious people I know, besides Hastur or Crowley”

Aziraphale let the comment about Crowley slide. He was trying to be helpful after all.

When Beelzebub finally lifted their face from the pillow, it was red from shame and wet from tears. Aziraphale sat his teacup down and handed them a handkerchief.

“There, there, dear,” he cooed as Beelzebub wiped their face off, his hand hovered above their shoulder. He really didn’t want his hand to burn off if Beelzebub was averse to touch.

“I just—why did this happen to me?” they blubbered, a small buzz escaping as they did. “I’m a demon, the Lord of Flies, Prince of Hell, I’m not supposed to fall in love! Especially not with archangels like Gabriel!”

Aziraphale let out a small little sigh. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for them. Beelzebub was going through the same emotional turmoil that he had gone through with Crowley.

Except, Beelzebub wasn’t alone. By some strange twist of fate, they at least had Aziraphale.

“I understand all about falling in forbidden love, dear,” Aziraphale finally risked it and placed a comforting hand on Beelzebub’s shoulder, and they didn’t try to push it away.

“I know. You and Crowley have been in love for centuries,” At the end of Beelzebub’s statement, they broke out into another sob, and suddenly wrapped themselves around Aziraphale in a tight squeeze. “That’s why I needed your help. You know how angels act, and you’ve done this whole thing before”

“I suppose Crowley would be out of the question there,” Aziraphale mused, still unsure if he could even hug Beelzebub back. Good grief, all the demons of Hell must be thoroughly touch-starved. Aziraphale gently sat Beelzebub back up and smiled.

“But you must have faith, Beelzebub,” Aziraphale said, handing Beelzebub back their teacup. “I’m sure—of what I know about Gabriel, he’s not one to leave anyone high and dry. You should at least try and tell him how you feel!”

Aziraphale tried to sound positive, but in reality, he had no freaking clue what Gabriel would do or how he would react. He hoped that Gabriel wouldn’t be cruel, or at least not around other angels or demons to spare Beelzebub’s pride. Also, Aziraphale had no clue whether Gabriel had ever had any other sexual encounters besides Beelzebub, and immediately regretted thinking about Gabriel in any sexual predicament. Aziraphale snapped himself out of his own train of thought and gave Beelzebub another reassuring smile.

“I’m sure he’s just going to laugh at me. Or worse, he’ll try to smite me so he won’t Fall” Beelzebub buzzed defeatedly, and Aziraphale sadly thought that yes, that sounds more like what Gabriel would do.

Before Aziraphale can offer anymore friendly advice, the phone rang. Aziraphale quickly topped off Beelzebub’s tea, and went to answer.

“Good evening, this is Mr. AZ Fell—” he began

“Aziraphale,” Crowley greeted, stiffly.

“Ah! Crowley, my dear boy” the sound of Crowley’s voice filled Aziraphale with joy, but it was quickly doused by Crowley’s stiff tone. “What seems to be the matter?”

“I need you to come to my apartment,” Crowley stated, sounding like he was trying to hold back a shout “I’ve got some unexpected company,”

Aziraphale stopped. “Y-yes, I too have some company, would you mind terribly if they accompanied me?”

A pause. “Actually, that might be a brilliant plan” he finally spoke. Before Aziraphale could offer anything else, he heard a click, and Crowley was gone.

“Well,” Aziraphale came back into the living room, grabbing a coat from the coat hanger and handing it to Beelzebub “Shall we?”

“Where are we going?” Beelzebub took the coat and turned it over in their hand, still getting used to the angel’s kindness and hostiness

“I’m afraid my dinner plans changed, and I’ll have to meet them earlier” Aziraphale and Beelzebub made their way downstairs, Aziraphale checking his pockets to make sure he had everything, including the small box that held his future.

“You’re dragging me along on your dinner date with Crowley?” Beelzebub grimaced, not looking forward to an evening of third wheeling with the defecting angel/demon couple.

As they stepped out onto the street, Aziraphale tried to flag down a taxi, but with no luck. “It seems as though he wanted to meet sooner, he has some rather difficult company” Aziraphale turned to Beelzebub “Some company that might concern you”

Gabriel

“I-I’m not ready to see him,” Beelzebub deflected, backing away towards the bookshop “What do I even say? I’m supposed to just meet him like this?”

Aziraphale looked at them. They weren’t terribly dressed, but their outfit was rough around the edges. With a snap of the angel’s fingers, Beelzebub was now dressed in a black turtleneck top with a burgundy over dress and shiny black boots with just a small heel. Their black hair was now pulled away from their face, and the fly on top was now adorned with a small burgundy ribbon. They looked at the outfit with a grimace.

“Trust me,” Aziraphale reassured, finally flagging down a taxi “Now, we’ve got a dinner to attend to, come along!”

Beelzebub took one last glance at themselves in the reflection of the bookshop window, took a shuddering sigh, then entered the taxi, speeding off towards what would hopefully be a rewarding evening for all Heavenly and Hellish parties involved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you guys still tell I'm not terribly fond of Gabriel?
> 
> Also, I may or may not have Beelzebub's exact end-of-chapter outfit in real life.   
> I hope you guys are enjoying this! With this fic, I'm experimenting with larger chapters, especially since I'm working on a short story alongside this fanfic project(I am currently trying to write for a living, it is only sort of working lmao), but thanks for bearing with me!
> 
> For more of my writing, check out @sewritesplays on Tumblr, or for just straight shitposting about Good Omens and other things, check out my main blog @cosmic-marigolds(you can literally find me on most sm platforms as "cosmic marigolds" in some way or another)
> 
> Enough rambling from me, I'll have a new chapter soon! Good night! <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On the other side of town in a stylish flat, a demon and an archangel delve into human emotions... and perhaps a scuffle occurs...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowee it took me FOREVER to write this chapter, sorry y'all. But it's getting there, I hope you guys like it! There's a lot more dialogue in this chapter than I anticipated.

\--Crowley’s flat—

Gabriel ran a hand over one of Crowley’s many plants, each leaf shuddering under Gabriel’s hand. He looked around the stark flat, silently judging the décor.

“So… who does your decorating?”

“I did” Crowley defended, coming behind Gabriel with a plant mister “Needed a little bit of green to keep it ‘homely’”

Crowley moved Gabriel’s hand away from the plant’s leaves and began tending to the plants, trying to process everything Gabriel had just told him.

“So, what exactly do you plan on doing with Beelzebub? You two just going to be fuck buddies?” Crowley glanced over his shoulder at Gabriel, who tensed up at the mention of the two of them being fuck buddies.

“You wouldn’t want that, would you?” Crowley continued, now genuinely intrigued and not irritated by the situation. Gabriel went to speak, then just sighed and looked down at the floor, both hands gripping his drink.

“I-I don’t know. All these emotions are new for me. I’ve never felt this way towards one specific being before… I mean,” he began to babble, turning a bright shade of pink as he did “I mean, angels are being of love, and they should feel love towards everyone. Not saying that I _looooove_ Beelzebub. We’ve only hooked up the one time, and sex doesn’t necessarily mean love. So maybe I’m not in love? But the way they look at me they just make me feel so—”

Crowley squirted Gabriel in the face with the plant mister. Gabriel sputtered and wiped the moisture from his eyes.

“Didn’t think that’d shut you up,” Crowley joked. Before Gabriel could speak to either berate Crowley or continue his self-conscious babble, Crowley gave the plant mister one more squirt, and Gabriel sputtered again.

“What was that for?!”

“You’re thinking way too hard about this” Crowley crossed to Gabriel, took his drink, then guided him back into the living room and onto the couch. Crowley took the glass over to the bar. He started fiddling with the coffee pot, and after giving it a menacing glare, managed to have a fresh pot brewed in seconds. He sighed, then looked at Gabriel.

“Look, just be honest with them. Tell them how you’re feeling and see if they would be willing to make something work” Crowley crossed back to the couch with two mugs, placing one in Gabriel’s hands.

“How do you suppose that’s going to work?” Gabriel scoffed “They’re a demon, I’m an angel… we are forbidden from ‘making something work’”

Crowley just stared at him. Were all angels just a tad dense? Gabriel realized what he said and took an embarrassed sip from his mug before adding on “Okay, okay, it’s just—it’s different! I’m an archangel! They are one of THE Princes of Hell! We have a lot at stake!”

“And you don’t think we did?” Crowley asked, not in a hostile way, but in a gentle tone that even Crowley was surprised to hear from himself “You think in all the six thousand years the two of us have been on earth together that it’s all been sunshine and rainbows?”

Crowley shifted on the couch and set his own mug down on the coffee table. He paused to get all his thoughts together, then began. “Look, love isn’t always going to be straightforward and perfect, and love follows its own set of rules. Love is…” he sighed and bit his lip, knowing Aziraphale would probably mock him for what he was about to say.

“Love is… ineffable. You can’t describe it, and you can’t always explain it, but it’s always there. And it’s the best kind of fall you could ever take”

Gabriel blinked, surprisingly moved by the demon’s words. Gabriel brought his mug to his lips, but then put it down with a thought.

“But… weren’t you worried about… you know… him Falling?”

Crowley sat back and let out a shuddering breath. It wasn’t like Crowley wasn’t aware of the fact that their arrangement could lead to Aziraphale’s Fall from Heaven. Crowley had warned Aziraphale of it many times as they began changing the nature of their relationship from friends to lovers.

 _I’m not worried about them, my dear_ Aziraphale had always said to him. _If I take any fall, it won’t be from Heaven… it’ll be in love with you._

“It’s been at the back of our minds,” Crowley finally spoke “We—or at least, I’ve been afraid. Course I’m afraid. I’m always afraid your lot are going to come and take him back, only to cast him out again. My lot, yea, they’re shifty pricks, but they wouldn’t have punished me half as bad as you would’ve—”

Crowley stopped himself before he gave away their secret, but Gabriel didn’t seem to notice. He was too preoccupied with the mug on the table, pushing it around by its handle. He finally picked it up, regarding its contents.

“You know,” Gabriel finally said, bringing the mug to his lips “You’ve got a big heart for a demon. And an amazing capacity for patience”

“Yea, well” Crowley managed, not particularly enjoying Gabriel’s change of tone “Comes with being on earth for six thousand years”

“Plus, you must have an amazing threshold for bullshit,” Gabriel added, putting a hand on Crowley’s shoulder “I mean… out of all the angels in Heaven, you had to pick the slowest one”

Crowley tensed. _Oh Go-Sat—anybody please keep me_ _from decking this asshole in the face, I am BEGGING you_ Crowley thought, trying to fake a smile as Gabriel—unfortunately—continued.

“I mean, I guess he’s cute, but that’s really if your type is dumb blondes” Crowley could feel his fists getting tighter. Why was Gabriel trying to push his buttons now?

“Well,” Crowley managed. He took a deep breath, then flashed a toothy ‘eat shit’ grin at Gabriel before saying

“At least I can be vulnerable enough to meet someone outside of a broom closet, dumb blonde or otherwise.”

Gabriel’s face fell, and he grimaced.

“Now tell me, Gabe” Crowley condescended again. “Exactly how drunk did Beelzebub have to be to even consider sleeping with you?”

As Crowley finished, he had to dodge a fist that almost collided with his jaw. Before he could strike back, Gabriel had tackled Crowley to the floor, and the two began to fight.

“ARROGANT SON OF A BITCH” Gabriel raged, jabbing an elbow into Crowley’s rib

“OH, SO I’M THE ARROGANT ONE?” Crowley punched Gabriel in the stomach “YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE, INTERRUPT MY PLANS AND INSULT THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST SIT THERE AND TAKE IT?!”

“CROWLEY, GABRIEL!” Gabriel and Crowley paused long enough to notice Aziraphale and Beelzebub standing in the threshold of the living room, both looking utterly concerned.

Crowley shoved Gabriel off him and rolled himself off the floor. “Angel, you have no idea the amount of bullshit I’ve put up with today with this big-headed angelic prick in the flat!”

“Oh, yea right!” Gabriel sat up and shot a glare at “I’m the big-headed one?! At least I don’t have a throne in my quarters!”

Everyone turned to look at Crowley, who suddenly felt unnecessarily attacked “IT IS AN AESTHETIC CHOICE. You wouldn’t know a damn thing about—”

“Aesthetic my ass, you look like a reject from The Cure” Gabriel interrupted. The two dove at each other again to fight but were stopped by their respective people of interest.

“Crowley, my dear” Aziraphale tried to soothe his fuming demon “Maybe picking a fight with an archangel is not such a good idea”

“You fucking twit,” Beelzebub offered a hand to Gabriel and helped him off the floor “What, you just go around picking fights with people often? Does that make you feel good about yourself?”

Gabriel didn’t even go to defend himself. He was awestruck by Beelzebub and their new outfit, and he couldn’t bring himself to say anything as he stood agape.

He had never seen them look so…

Breathtaking.

Beelzebub took notice of Gabriel’s stare and turned bright red, nervously tugging at their sleeve.

“This-this is something Aziraphale made me wear,” they started. “I was-I was just gonna see you in my regular clothes, I mean these don’t really feel like me. They’re very strange, aren’t they?”

“Yea—I mean,” Gabriel finally spoke, and began to turn as red as Beelzebub’s dress “No, not strange, I mean… you look… good”

The two stood there looking at each other, not really knowing what to say.

“Jesus, will you two get on with it?” Crowley jeered, eliciting an admonishing look from Aziraphale. “What? I should have had dinner going hours ago, instead I had to play BFFs with Gabe”

“Gabriel” Gabriel fumed through gritted teeth “And don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy the company; I’m sure having the time away from Aziraphale does wonders for the IQ”

Beelzebub shot a look at Gabriel “I’ll have you know, Gabe” they buzzed “That Aziraphale is a wonderful host and quite a nice shoulder to lean on”. They turned to Crowley, and Crowley gulped.

“You’re quite lucky to have someone like him, even if he is an angel”

Crowley just stood there agape, while Aziraphale blushed. “Beelzebub, you’re too kind”

Gabriel, still grimacing and blushing all at once, looked down at the ground before speaking.

“And I guess,” he forced himself to say “Aziraphale, you’ve got a great partner with a surprisingly large capacity for love… even though he is a smug-faced demon”

Crowley just sneered at Gabriel. “Well, I suppose my dinner plans are ruined, so why don’t the four of us go out to eat instead? I think a table just opened up at—”

Aziraphale stopped him with a gentle pat to the chest. Crowley looked over to notice that Gabriel and Beelzebub had gotten closer, and Gabriel had taken Beelzebub’s hands in his.

“Actually” Crowley continued “I think a table just for two opened up at the Ritz”

Beelzebub and Gabriel looked up at Crowley and Aziraphale.

“Oh, we couldn’t possibly,” Gabriel protested

“Yea, I don’t really eat human food,” Beelzebub added. But Aziraphale stopped them.

“Try the wine then, dears,” he insisted “Besides, I think you two need some time to chat, don’t you?”

Gabriel and Beelzebub looked at one another, both still blushing like school children.

“Well,” Gabriel finally conceded “I mean, we have official Heaven/Hell business to discuss, right?”

“Not to mention, we should discuss another important… Heaven/Hell matter?” Beelzebub offered.

Gabriel blinked, then added “Oh yea, we won’t bother you guys anymore! That’s the thing, right?”

“I—well thank you, Gabriel” Aziraphale stated “But I think they meant… another Heaven/Hell matter?”

“Oh,” Gabriel said. Then it hit him. “Oh!”

Before Beelzebub could say anything jeering towards Gabriel, Gabriel offered his arm to them and they both exited the flat to meet their reservation. Crowley and Aziraphale waved them out the door, then shut it behind them, both relieved to finally be alone.

“Oh yea,” Crowley finally spoke “They’re gonna bang tonight, definitely”

Aziraphale chuckled, and playfully swatted at his arm “Don’t be crass, Crowley”

The two of them shared a laugh before Crowley finally placed a well-deserved kiss on Aziraphale, and the angel returned it in kind.

“Now then,” Crowley took Aziraphale’s hand, and led him to the kitchen “I’ve got a whole evening planned, so get comfortable and don’t lift a finger! Prepare for the best night of your whole life!”

As Crowley turned to start preparing dinner, Aziraphale patted the place where the small box was kept.

“Hopefully,” Aziraphale whispered to himself “For the both of us”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are reaching the end of the line, guys gals and nb pals. But however many chapters it takes me to end this thing, it's just gonna end in pure fluff and maybe some VERY mild smut. So woohoo!  
> ((Also everyone in this is so dumb but I love them except maybe Gabriel))


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which two immortal beings spend a lovely evening together

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back from an extended bought of writer's block and depression? It's me, ya boi.
> 
> This chapter's a little shorter than the others but that's okay! It's the last one, and I'm gonna try and churn out some more fics soon, it'll be great. Enjoy, this is mostly fluff.

The Ritz ended up being quite nice for Beelzebub and Gabriel as they soaked in each other’s company. In fact, they even ended up splitting a nice dessert, since they both agreed neither of them really ate. After the Ritz, they walked around the park for several hours, and after that they managed to find a secluded spot in order to really know each other.

In a secret alcove in the park, that you wouldn’t be able to see even if you looked, a Prince of Hell and an Archangel of Heaven were doing some… very earthly things with one another. (In Crowley’s words: they were banging)

When they were done, the two laid in the grass entangled in one another, a blanket that Gabriel had miracled up covering the two of them. Gabriel ran a hand absentmindedly through Beelzebub’s hair, the fly on their head buzzing softly as he did.

“You know,” Beelzebub said quietly after some time “Even after all the trouble they caused us in stopping Armageddon and misplacing the Antichrist… I’m glad those two helped bring us together”

“Yea,” Gabriel hummed softly “I guess they’re not as useless as we thought”

Beelzebub shifted and looked up at Gabriel, a question burning at the tip of their tongue.

“So… what happens now?”

Gabriel glanced down at them, their silver eyes gleaming in the moonlight that now bathed them both. For the first time in all his being, he didn’t know the answer, or even pretend to. What happens now? They didn’t have the same luxury that Aziraphale and Crowley had, they couldn’t just escape to earth and live happily ever after. If Heaven found out, he was certain it wouldn’t go well. And Hell would shame Beelzebub for this, unless they told all those demons that they tempted an angel and made him Fall.

But it wasn’t a temptation. At least, not anymore.

“We’ll figure something out, Beelz” Gabriel softly kissed the top of their head and smiled. For once in his life, he wasn’t sure of anything.

And he didn’t care in the slightest.

Beelzebub’s mind, however, was buzzing with worry. For the first time in their life, they had something to lose. They had someone who actually truly cared about them. Someone who could have very well gotten off and left Beelzebub naked in the park, or mocked Beelzebub for their affections.

But he didn’t. He returned them in kind, and was the one who suggested they stay there, under the stars and away from everyone, just for a little while. Just long enough to hold them and feel them in their arms. Beelzebub couldn’t remember the last time they were held, nor could Gabriel remember there ever being a time he held someone.

“But aren’t you worried?” they whispered. The thought crossed their mind and they had to hold back a shudder “About… Falling? Because of me?”

The silence hit them both. Gabriel could remember the Great Fall, he could remember casting out his fellow angels who had fought against The Almighty, remember them disappearing in a cloud of smoke and sulfur, the screams still fresh in his ears. His grip tightened on Beelzebub, who returned the grip in kind. Of course, he had thought of it. It had been there in the back of his mind since their first encounter at the pub, and it had been taunting him ever since then.

But now? Under the moonlight, holding them in his arms even if the moment wouldn’t last forever, felt more like Heaven than Heaven itself ever did.

Gabriel brought Beelzebub’s face up to his and kissed them gently on the lips. The kissed him back, and when they broke Gabriel spoke softly.

“You know… I think I’ve already fallen… and it’s wonderful”

Beelzebub was happy that it was dark so that Gabriel couldn’t see the bright red blush that seemed to engulf their entire body. They relaxed back into Gabriel’s embrace, and the two of them looked up at the stars, feeling the cool night breeze against their skin.

“I think I have too” Beelzebub buzzed softly.

They stayed there in that moment for the next few hours, and when the morning came Gabriel miracled their clothing back to them and unleashed the barrier around their own personal paradise.

“So, what now?” Beelzebub asked, hesitant to take Gabriel’s hand out in broad daylight. Gabriel took their hand and squeezed it

“I don’t know, but we’ll figure it out” he smiled.

The two walked hand in hand down the street, and all the people regarded them as a normal couple. It was an odd and beautiful thing. Two beings so unfamiliar with love and sharing such a strong emotion for one another, it was hard to explain how the universe brought these two together.

Some might say, it’s ineffable.

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you have it, proof I can go one whole chapter without bashing Gabriel, nice.
> 
> But thank you so much for everyone who has left such positive feedback and kudos on "Is It Ineffable?" You guys are such an inspiration, and I'm really appreciative! More work is coming soon, I'm just trying to get myself back in the swing of it. Peace out <3


End file.
